How to get my wife and marriage back

This is one of the questions I receive the most on a daily basis, men desperate to know how to get their wives back.

In this article I will explain in a simple way the necessary principles to keep in mind if your marriage is over and you want to get your wife back or if the relationship is weakened.

What will you find in this article? [show]

Getting your wife back – Important points:

1) Lack of communication:

If before your marriage fell into crisis communication with your wife was poor, there you have one of the main reasons why the relationship had to break down.

In my years of studying seduction and relationships I have come to the conclusion that communication is by far the most important thing in sustaining a healthy and lasting relationship.

For the couple, whether dating or married, to share their problems, their opinions on practically everything, their successes, their health problems, and everything that is happening to them, is fundamental for the relationship to be built on solid foundations.

A user who bought my book Volver con Ella sent me an email in which he told me that when he told his ex-wife everything that was happening to him (that he had problems at work and that he had not wanted to tell her for months so as not to disappoint her) she was very welcoming.

They talked about the problems, they talked about each other and together they worked out how they were going to move forward, and guess what… they came back together as a married couple and now they are better than ever.

By this I mean, don’t be afraid to talk to your wife or ex in detail about whatever is troubling you, just as you should demand that she be honest with you and tell you every single problem she is going through.

But don’t confuse a lot of communication with harassing your partner.

2) Don’t harass or burden your spouse or ex-partner:
This is one of the most common mistakes men make when they see that their relationship with their wife is not going well or is definitely over.

Harassing a woman can mean that the relationship is over for good, so if you are in a situation where you find yourself in a permanent situation:

Trying to contact her by phone or other means.
Spying on her.
Asking mutual friends what she’s up to.
Demanding that they talk and work things out.
Begging her to come back.

Not only will this not help you get your wife back, but it will cause you to push her further away, as you will not be attractive to her at all, quite the opposite in fact.


A harassing man is proving to his wife that he is:

An insecure man.
He does not believe that another woman can take him into account.
That he needs her to live.
That he has no major hobbies or pastimes, so he has a lot of time to burden her.
My friend, I know that in the beginning it can be hard to control yourself not to behave like this.

You had a relationship that you thought was going to last forever and then overnight you find that your wife has left you or you see that the relationship is about to end?

It’s understandable that you behave irrationally.

But you came to this website and I am here and I have a DUTY to tell you that those behaviours will NOT lead you to any good outcome.

I am telling you this because I have been involved in relationships for many years.

Tip: When you are about to call her, or about to log into her Facebook profile, or even about to go and physically meet her somewhere… count to 3… 1,2,3… take a deep breath, and do NOT submit to it.

And more importantly, don’t subject her to it.

You must give her her space and her time. Women need time to think, to relax their mind, and most of all, to start missing you.

If you go and harass her over and over again you will not give her time to miss you, rather you will be repelling her with your behaviour.

3) Love yourself, it’s not all about time with your wife:

When marriages fall into crisis is when one of the parties sees the other as the best in the world and would be able to give everything for him or her, and the other person “relaxes” and slowly begins to lose interest in the relationship.

I’m not saying that you don’t have to love your spouse, of course you do and you have to show her every day that she is very important to you.

However, you have to make sure that she feels and does the same for you. The relationship must be balanced.

A relationship where one puts in too much and the other too little is bound to fail.

Therefore, if you see that your wife is being indifferent to you, if you see that she no longer takes you into account and is not the woman she was before, pay her back with the same coin.

Human beings tend not to value what we have until we lose it. Always keep this in mind.

If you make your wife see that you don’t depend on her to make you happy. That without her you can also have a good time, since you have hobbies (if you don’t have any so far, I recommend that you adopt one now.

It could be playing an instrument, playing a sport, belonging to a group or community, etc.) that you are passionate about and that do not depend on her, your woman will value you much more than if you simply tell her “my love, I love you, I want to be with you, let’s go back”.

Women need to be with men with attractive and interesting personalities. And a man who has no hobbies and who depends on his wife for happiness does not meet this requirement.

That’s why I say to you: love yourself more, care about yourself and then care about her.

Be happy doing what you do, and the good results will be reflected not only in your relationship, but in all aspects of your life (health, money and love).

And by loving yourself more, I mean cultivating your social and active life more:

Go out more with friends.
Keep busy with your hobbies.
Listen to music and be passionate about it.
Take up a sport, or at least go for a jog 3 times a week. You will see how good it does for your physical and mental health.
Dress well and don’t neglect your appearance. Be proud of who and how you are, and when you go out in the street, feel the positive glances of others towards you (even if they don’t exist).

4) Stay positive and change your routine:
To win your wife back you need, starting today, right now, to change your negative mindset to a positive one.

If you are often dominated by thoughts like “I don’t know if I can get my wife back, she is so changed… I don’t know what to do”, you are going down the wrong path.

You see, if you condition your mind to ALWAYS think positively, you will be able to focus better.

Change that thought to “I know my ex-wife still likes me, and sooner or later we’ll get back together and have a great time, I know that will happen”.

Don’t talk bad about your wife when you are with friends or other people either, don’t hate her, even if she has given you reasons to do so.

Always speak well of her. It’s all in your mind and what kind of thoughts you have.

You see, thoughts are the food of the mind, and in order to get a woman back you need to feed your mind well.

I also recommend you to change your routine and not fall into monotony. If you are still seeing your wife, invite her to a place you have never been to before.

It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy, just something new.

A change of scenery will allow both of you to be in a different mood when it comes to communicating your problems.

By following these simple tips and putting them into practice today, you will be well on your way to getting your wife back.